Back in it ... again?

These last few weeks have been extremely stressful for me. Phoenix has been BOOMING (yes that deserved all caps.) Even though I'm taking an Integrative Mental Health course this semester, I've been struggling with practicing mindfulness and taking care of me. This has been the most frustrating and scattered semester. Between a demanding professor, a class that should be interesting (but isn't), clients, home life, and WORK - food has become my source of stress relief. *sigh*

I struggle with fall and winter, because it means fantastic social food options. It means there's lots of excuses for eating. We have my friend's fantastic Halloween food extravaganza, my birthday, anniversary, Thanksgiving, CHRISTMASSSSS (which is like two months long at least.) Every where I turn, I don't have to be manipulative about eating - people just want to eat.

The problem is - I love cooking. I love baking. When I'm stressed, the ritual of making food is just as rewarding as the eating. Last night I made pasta for dinner, chili to put in the crock-pot today, Elvis Muffins - (banana and peanut butter chip) for Philip's work, and a fluffy pie. The good news is that most of what I made was not THAT bad. The fluffy pie is 217 calories a slice, the Elvis Muffins were around 250. The chili will 345 for a large bowl. I guess the trick is, if I'm making something for someone else, really let it be for them ,.. not me too. And if I need to cook to get rid of this tension in my shoulders (which I'm now considering is some kind of deformity that is going to stick around forever) I need to be accountable for what I'm eating.

Monday I started back on myfitnesspal. I've got to start taking care of me again and recognize that I use food as a way of dealing with stress. I refuse to get comfortable with my size 14 jeans again and need to start revving up for the size 10.

Thanks for listening.