I guess introductions are in order. I did start a blog over at LiveJournal, but decided after seeing the abundance of advertisements that take over the page maybe I should plant myself on blogger. Years ago I had a LiveJournal account, which existed when there were no advertisements. I went today to update my journal, and had to wait for a bread advertisement to finish before I could write. Enough of my wining I suppose.
On January 5th, I started a new way of eating. Last year I downloaded myfitnesspal to my iPhone and periodically recorded my calorie intake. I wanted to do as little work as possible and didn't really research what I was doing and why I was choosing my calorie limit. I chose 1200 calories for each day, thinking that would help me lose weight quickly without any real effort towards exercise. It was sort of a failure. I didn't stick to the app at all, I didn't work out, and I often didn't add certain foods or condiments to the count since they were such small amounts. I stopped recording in October I think.
My husband got a job recently, which is a salaried position with benefits. This is what we've been waiting for to give us the green light to possibly have a baby. We haven't made any concrete decisions, but it's on the table as a topic to discuss further. I knew that I always wanted to be healthy before conceiving, and after weighing myself sometime in December I was horrified. I had noticed that some of my clothes were getting tighter, and I looked just horrible in Christmas pictures. I destroyed two pair of jeans by rubbing holes on the inseam from my thighs rubbing together. I weigh 203 lbs. That was it. I was disgusted.
On January 5th I started Graduate School and also made a new commitment to try eating healthy again. I read an article from a self-help guru, which can be found here... "How I lost 25lbs in 1 month."
Please note I'm not at all expecting to lose 25lbs in a month, but I thought Debra had some good advice. I did some research and found my BMR, and found what I should be eating if I want to be a healthy 136lbs. It's been kind of a weird realization that if I want to be a certain weight, maybe I should eat like that person would eat. Why didn't I think of that before?
So I did just want Debra suggested. I record EVERYTHING. The measuring cup has been a lifesaver. I record every drop of oil, every tablespoon of lite butter, every condiment. It has TOTALLY helped with holding myself accountable. I dusted off myfitnesspal, and started again keeping track of my daily activities. I haven't had a "dirt" day, and I even count calories on the weekends. I haven't yet, but in the future when I want to eat more calories in one day I'll eat less the day before.
On Monday, Wednesday, and Friday following class I go to the gym for at least 30 mins. The workouts have been slow going, mostly because I feel awkward and a little out of place being at the gym, but I'm more confident each time I go.
I have to believe this will work. Everyone tells you right - if you eat less and exercise you'll lose weight? I sure hope so. The voice in the back of my head keeps saying that I'm meant to be fat, and I'm not supposed to be skinny. To be honest, I've actually had people confirm that in the past, saying that I'll not ever be a size small or I'm just too curvy to ever be thin.
Le Sigh. The positive part of this is I'm finding that the end of the day I have plenty of calories left over and I'm never hungry. Maybe this weekend I'll weigh myself, but I have to tell you.. I'm terrified. If I've gained weight or not shed a pound I'll be so embarrassed, but I've got to make a change and this is it.
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